Today has been sad but necessary. It was closure day…
I retain all the love and respect in the world for my ex girlfriend, but until today had no idea what the cause of our breakup was. As readers will know the breakup caused me so much anxiety and pain during the last few months that most things in life appeared pointless.
Sure, we have seen each other, largely through necessity during the past few months; collecting post, removing belongings etc etc… and sure I dragged that out through hope. Hope that time would be a cureall. But it wasn’t to be, because that old chestnut is correct: Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus…
She would say black, I thought she meant white and so on and so forth… Every message sent I interpreted incorrectly, I was irrevocably flawed in that department. From a man who has made an entire career out of communications, this one I got completely wrong. I know that now and I can only apologise to her for that.
The year 2011 will be a hard one to beat… in fact it will probably still go down as the best in my life with a lady who I adored, still adore, but realise now that our methods of communication are so many worlds apart, that through miscommunications, in the end we brought each other unhappiness. My flaw during this time will probably go down as one of my biggest failures, but in this particular case I think the genes just weren’t matched, upbringings so different, perhaps even past histories played a large part in the failure of this relationship. We both bore skeletons of old that negatively influenced our outlooks on life.
Opposites should attract, perhaps that is what brought us together, but opposites also are just that!
Today, we spent a few hours having coffee and then back to my hovel to gain some warmth and for the first time in a long time we talked… openly, candidly and in my case tearfully. But at last I got it and however painful the outcome, I accept my loss.
She said we can remain friends, I hope so… but given her commitments even as we were together, spending time together was always a challenge for us.
Goodbye sweetheart, thankyou for the wonderful times. As a friend I will always be here for you. Thankyou for finally, painful as it was to hear, giving me some form of closure that I could understand… It’s time to move on… It’s closure day and for one last time, here is the song that we nailed so many times together in the privacy of our home. You Rock!